A Beaten Soul,A Broken Dream,And A LoveLess Life
by Kendalls LogieBear
Summary: Kendall Knight and Logan Mitchell are worst enemies,or so they are to the public eye,Kendall's the nerd,and Logan's the jock who makes him cry and breaks him,but what if it wasn't like that at all?What if there was a real secret romance in school walls?


**This is so depressing, ugh,special thank you too Rhett9,and BreakFree! My long lost twin! Without them I wouldn't have published this at all,but they convinced me that it was good,SO,yup thanks guys,I love you both.**

**Also,this is a AU obviously,and you might hate Logan in this.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Kendall flinched as he was pushed into the lockers on his right side for the third time since he had entered the building, he recoiled when the teenager made a step towards him, as if to punch him,but instead,the male laughed at him,and pushed him once more, almost making his glasses slip off of his nose and onto the floor.<p>

Kendall's pale thin fingers reached up and caught them just in time, slipping them back in place, before speed walking all the way to his locker, not able to avoid the shouts of verbal abuse, and kicks on his way, he curled into the corner that his locker was set in,and quickly twisted the dile around a few times,before putting in his combination.

9-14-94.

Kendall blinked at the combination,he knew why he had chosen it,he just wished that he hadn't, because it depressed him every time that he entered the numbers into the lock.

It was a normal thing for kids at Palm Woods High to make there boyfriends or girlfriends,or crushes birthdays there locker combination.

Except, this person who held this number as there birth-date wasn't his girlfriend, or his boyfriend.

The boy who's birthday this was...there relationship was more...complicated.

Actually,it wasn't at all, Kendall knew what there relationship was,what it always had been for the most part,and what it always would be,no matter what he wished it to really be.

That person was Logan Mitchell.

And oh what a person Logan Mitchell was.

He was the complete opposite of Kendall, and he always had been,always would be.

Logan Mitchell was by fair the most popular boy in all of Palm Woods history, everyone 'loved' him,his peers,his friends,his teachers, all other adults. Logan stood at exactly 5'11 with spiky dark brown hair,and brown eyes that could melt a persons soul,he had dimples to die for,and had skin that everyone was jealous off. He played hockey,soccer,basketball,baseball,football,track he got the perfect grades. He was Sherwood's own personal all American golden boy.

Except he really wasn't like that at all,for one,golden boys didn't fuck the schools biggest nerd,friend less loser, and golden boys didn't make fun of the people they were sleeping with, for everyone to see, golden boys didn't make, fragile souls like Kendall break down and cry in front of everyone,and then "make love" to him later in apology.

Logan Mitchell wasn't perfect,and he wasn't golden.

And Kendall was the only person who knew that.

So,while Logan pranced around being Mr,Perfect. Getting straight A's,scoring winning goals, and making girls swoon and drool all over him, he left Kendall behind.

The person he claimed to love.

And who was Kendall Knight.

It should have been obvious by now,shouldn't it?

But if it isn't that clear, Kendall Knight...

...Kendall Knight was Logan's polar opposite as said before.

Kendall Knight was a nobody, a unimportant waste of space...or at least that was what he was told,that's why everyone told him,his father,his peers,his older sister,his used to be friends before he came out James and Carlos, his used to be boyfriend Wayne Wayne that now stood by Logan's side while making fun of him. Logan had mentioned it before,he was sure.

He was a inch or two shorter then Logan was, shaggy blonde hair covered his porcelain face, he had big green eyes that were filled with pain,and loneliness. He had pale, creamy skin,beautiful long golden eyelashes,and pouty,plush soft pink lips. He was thin and slender,and had the most lovely shapely hips.

He was shy,and quiet,and he hardly ever spoke to anyone,not that anyone who have spoken to him in the first place.

He had a heart of gold,literally. He helped the people who made fun of him in class, tutored little brat freshman that called him names, stayed after school to help his teachers, and it was all because he wanted to help,he wanted to make someones life easier,because his was so hard.

He had been the hockey teams couch's assist last semester even if he had been pushed down on the ice countless times, he had been nearly raped in the shower room while collecting towels in there.

A few hockey players had thought it would be 'fun' to play around with him,and had grabbed him in places,and had teased him until he had cried, and begged them to let him go.

He was the sweetest person you would have ever said, he was kind and gentle to everyone.

It was just who Kendall Knight was.

But he didn't understand why he deserved to be punished for being a good person.

And this probably makes you wonder how his and Logan's relationship.

Well you see it was-

"Good Morning,faggot."

Kendall flinched as he heard his 'lovers' harsh words crash threw his mind,he turned to see Logan standing there in front of him,a smirk gracing his features, his former best friend James on his right,and his former boyfriend Wayne on his left.

Kendall ducked his head,already feeling his eyes burn at Logan's heartless remark.

Logan was actually out and about Bisexual,but since he was the 'golden boy' somehow it was different when Logan liked boys,and lesser,'lower' people liked boys as well.

Like Kendall.

And as for those super mega crazy religious people in that town,they loved him too,because they were convinced on day God would save him.

Kendall sniffed.

"Hello,Logan."

He wished he didn't have to answer,but he only made that mistake once.

"Awe you crying,nerdy? What? Take it up the ass to hard?" James said.

"Nah that couldn't be it. He's a bad lay,man." Wayne smirked.

Kendall wanted to glare the shit out of Wayne Wayne,they had never even had sex when they were together, all there had been was a handful of blowjobs,and he knew for a fact Wayne had loved them all.

"We never had sex,Wally."

Wayne Wayne striked him across the face.

"Never call me that again,you cheap whore." Wayne Wayne spat.

Kendall's hand flew up to cradle his cheek in his hand, refusing to sob in pain like he wanted to,he saw something flash in his lovers brown eyes, wanting so much to fall into Logan's arms and cry, and to have the elder comfort him.

But he couldn't.

The concern and love that had flashed threw Logan's eyes disappeared and at once he smirked once again, turning to slap Wayne on the back,chuckling as he congratulated the boy in making the 'faggot' cry.

Logan,James,and Wally walked away, laughing about him all the way threw the now empty hall, to there first class.

Kendall sunk to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest,and sobbing into them.

He just loved Logan so much,and Logan told him he loved him too but he had such a hard time believing that,Logan treated him like shit at school,he called him names,and had actually hit him a few times,Logan broke him into thousands of pieces,and beated up his soul,and threw it threw a paper shredder.

But when they were alone Logan wasn't like that.

He was sweet and loving,he looked at Kendall like he was the most precious thing in the world,and treated him like he was his own personal prince,he kissed him tenderly,hugged his tightly,made love to him softly,cuddled with him endlessly.

Kendall sobbed softly, he wanted Logan with him right now,he wanted Logan to pull him into his lap and kiss him,and tell him that everything was going to be okay,like he did when he had nightmares.

The blonde knew that he had to get to his first class,that he had already missed more then half of his class,just sitting there,sobbing like a baby,but he couldn't bring himself to move,he just couldn't,he was frozen by his own pain,and depression.

He couldn't help but shake and quiver alone in that stone cold hallways,surprised that no one had found him yet,he was almost hoping that they would,he would feel so much better then,they would take him to the principles office,and he would get lectured,and he would have something to concentrate on besides the aching pain in him.

The blonde was pulled out of his thought as he heard the sound of converse hitting the tiled floor,and yes,he could specify the shoes,because he knew those footsteps.

He only looked up when he felt another warm body on the floor next to him,he meet brown soulful eyes.

Logan didn't say anything as he pressed his lips to the cheek that Wayne Wayne had hit him on. Logan stood up and held both hands out for Kendall,which he took,Logan pulled him up,and he took one of his hands and then started leading him down a few halls.

It took Kendall til they were standing in front of his first period door to realize were Logan was bringing him, the brunet slipped a late pass out of his pocket and wrapped the blondes fingers around it.

He pulled the blonde into his side and kissed his forehead,then hesitated,then kissed him temple tenderly.

"I'm sorry."

Those two words meant more to Kendall then they could to anyone else,because Kendall understood them better then anyone else,Logan was sorry,but it was more then for what he had let Wayne Wayne to him.

He was sorry he was a disappointment to Kendall,he was sorry that he wasn't man enough to admit to the world that he loved Kendall Francis Knight,the nerd that everyone picked on,he was sorry he wasn't ready to fully come out as gay,he was sorry that he couldn't protect Kendall as much as he wanted to,and most of all,he was sorry that he let Kendall down.

The brunet let him go and then knocked on the door.

He kissed the blonde softly once.

"I love you."

And then he walked away before Kendall could have had a chance to say anything back,he turned the corner just as the door in front of the blonde opened softly.

"Kendall?"

"Mmh?" He hummed turning to look at Miss,Wainwright.

He gave her the pass that Logan had given him,clearly recognizing his lovers perfect cursive,that everyone knew,and no one could copy...not in a million years.

Miss,Wainwright was the only one that knew about Kendall and Logan's relationship besides there parents,she had once walked in on them making out intensely in her classroom when they thought that it would be empty for the night.

"Take your seat Kendall."

She didn't say anything about the false pass.

* * *

><p>Kendall wiped away another tear,he was laying on his bed,in his bedroom at home,his hair was wet from the shower he had just taken,and he felt warm in his 'boyfriends' over sized hockey sweatshirt,that Logan had given to him as a present. Logan had told his coach that he had lost it when he had asked about it,and had given him a new one.<p>

And it was the same for all of Logan's sports teams.

The blond had all of Logan's original sweatshirts,and jackets for the soccer,hockey,track,baseball,basketball,and football teams he was on,or was captain of,he had a couple of Logan's old soccer and football jerseys,had the dark blue track T-shirt from Logan's freshman year that was the brunets favorite but he had wanted Kendall to have it. He had a handful of Logan's soccer shorts that he had stolen after going to Logan's house.

Sure,Logan had to pay a shit load of money to replace all the things that he had given to Kendall,or the things Kendall had just taken upon himself to take,but it was the least he could do,and it made Kendall happy.

And did he mention he had several winning balls,a few trophies and ribbons on his top shelf,and Logan's favorite baseball sneakers and jersey in his closet right now too?

Because he did.

He knew it was stupid,but he liked having things like that around,to remind himself of Logan,especially because Logan caused him so much pain,and put him threw so much agony,but he loved Logan,and he was pretty sure Logan loved him too,he just wished and hoped and dreamed that one day,things would be different.

Logan had things in his room to remind himself of Kendall too.

He had the blondes hand sown blanket that had taken him four months to make on his bed,he had a stash of the blondes clothes in one of his draws,he had a shit load of stupidly sweet coupely pictures of him and Kendall in his desk drawer,along with some porn ones of when he had convinced Kendall to pose for him just for fun.

Kendall thought he looked ridiculous,but Logan thought he looked sexy.

And he also had a few stuffed animals as well...did he mention that Kendall had a stuffed animal obsession? Because he did. Logan thought it was absolutely adorable,at times he often felt like he was walking into a child's room,but that was just part of the blonds charm,so he didn't mind.

There was Kendall's favorite bear,which he had had literally since the day he was born,he stood proudly at the top of Logan's bed,resting against his pillows,he had other bears,and a variety of other animals,like a purple elephant named Elly,and a pink,sparkly unicorn named Sparkles. Yup...

The blonde let out a pathetic little hiccup,snuggling deeper into his pillow.

He had had a horrible day.

And it was all because of Logan.

Logan had flirted with a few girls in there class,and had called him names when James had caught the blonde looking at him,he had pushed Kendall countless times throwout the day,had kicked him down the stairs after Dak had called him to pussy to do so,he dumped Kendall's lunch over his head,which thankfully was only salad and no dressing,and a water,so it didn't stain,but it was still horrible,the blonde had had to ware his gym shirt for the rest of the days,and had had to spend the rest of his lunch period holding his pants under the blow dryer thing in the bathroom,having to lock the door so no one could walk in and see him in a pair of Logan's boxers,and then Logan had pushed him in the mud in the middle of the rain storm after school and had dragged his face and body threw it quite a few times.

He was bruised and dirty and bloody as he had walked threw his empty house,at once jumping into the shower.

And here he was now,on his bed,weeping after being beaten and verbally abused by the person he loved most.

The blondes thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his front door opening,and the clang of light metal hitting one another as the person holding them fumbled around to shut the door...keys.

It couldn't be his mother,the steps were too heavy,and he knew who it was as they walked up the stairs to his bedroom,he heard them knock on his door, but he didn't say anything,he pulled his blanket over his head,and sniffed into his pillows.

There was a brief hesitation and then his bedroom was being pressed open and a new weigh was being added to his bed.

The brunet sighed and kicked his shoes off of his feet,he laid himself down next to Kendall,somehow managing to get himself under the blanket.

Kendall snuggled into Logans chest without a word,and the brunet calmly wrapped his arms around the blonde,stroking his hair,lost in his own thoughts,like Kendall was.

"I'm sorry." Logan told him.

"Sometimes that's not enough." Kendall said.

Logan's eyes closed,

"I know it's not."

"When are you gonna start acting on what you know,Logan?' Kendall wondered.

"I don't know."

Kendall scoffed. "How about you call me when you decide,okay?"

Before Kendall could roll away,Logan grabbed him by the waist,and pulled him into his lap,Kendall glared at him but he ignored it.

"I love you,you know that right?"

"Do I?"

"You should."

"How can I believe that you love me when you don't act like it?"

"I d-"

"No Logan,you don't! When you love someone,you love them ALL THE TIME,not when you choose to!" Kendall glared at him struggling out of the brunets lap.

"Kendall you know-"

"Yeah Logan I KNOW!I've KNOWN forever! Your to much of a pussy to be a fucking man and admit that you love me,LIKE YOU SAY YOU DO, and take the shit that your afraid to receive!"

Logan did say anything in response,instead he got up,and left,without another word.

"FINE! LEAVE YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

The door slammed shut downstairs.

Kendall fell to the floor,crying out for the love that he had lost

* * *

><p><strong>So<strong>...**what did you all think? I'm leaving this as a one shot for now,but there might be a part two,not sure yet,what do you guys think? Tell me if your interested in Part 2. Huh,that was my first time making a sad Kogan ending...I didn't like . Please review!**

**Lot's of Love,**

**Sarah  
><strong>


End file.
